Bolt in Disney Digital 3-D: Reviewish

So last night I ventured out with Randall (Godson), Kevin (neighbor), and Rachel (neighbor's girlfriend) for dinner and a moving picture show. We went and saw Bolt (In 3D) at the newish theater in Stockton.

I didn't know much of anything about Bolt other than it's about a dog and I think there are other animals in it. Regardless, I wanted to see it. You see, I'm a sucker for anything Disney does ever. I love to watch it. As soon as it opens with that castle I'm a kid again.

This was another of the few Disney CGI features not made under the Pixar umbrella. I believe the last one was Meet The Robinsons, a movie I thoroughly enjoyed.

Anyways, onto the movie. So Bolt is a dog who is also the star of a television show where he has super powers he is constantly using to keep his person, Penny, out of Danger. The problem is Bolt doesn't KNOW it's a television show. And thus the first twenty minutes of this movie is very reminiscent of The Truman Show. Right down to "The Director." But it's interesting, because even when Bolt is whisked away to his trailer by Penny and she wants to play, he's still on the prowl.

Eventually Bolt escapes his trailer in an attempt to save Penny and end sup in the real world, as a real dog. He is far from home and befriends a couple of animals (Mittens the Cat and Rhino the Hamster in a plastic ball) and together they adventure back across the country, trying to get to Penny in Hollywood. It's an awesome story, as these movies always seem to be.

The voice acting is super cool. John Travolta is Bolt. I'm glad he's doing something, I miss John Travolta. Penny is voice by Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray's kid. At the end credits the two duet in a song. It's not Grease, but it's not bad. Susie Essman, who if you watched the Bob Saget Roast may be the ugliest woman on earth in the eyes of the roasters, voices Mittens the cat. All three are great. The shining star, though, is Mark Walton in the voice of Rhino. It doesn't look like this guy's done much, but he is awesome. His one lioner drop ins are hillarious throughout. See, Rhino's gimmick is he thinks Bolt is REALLY a super dog and yearns to be his sidekick.

So I definitely reccommend this one. As far as what else is in theaters at current, it's a true contender. And this one's in 3D! While it'll likely cost you a couple extra dollars, take advantage of it! Disney Digital 3D is an incredible technology and gives the movies so much more depth!

8/10

Role Models: Reviewish

So evidently Role Models was written by Paul Rudd. And I'm glad. This dude is a bag of funny in everything he's in. Even Clueless! He was the step-brother, Josh. Why do I remember that?

So the gist of this one is Paul Rudd and Stiffler from American Pie (Sean William Scott) are arrested, given community service, and forced to volunteer what is essentially a "Big Brothers" type of organization. Pairing adults with youths to mentor them. Paul gets saddled with a kid who is way into this real life role playing D&D kinda' thing, played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin from Superbad). Stiffler (His name in this flick is Wheeler) gets saddled with a ridiculously foul mouthed little kid named Ronnie. And hijinx ensue!

I have to say I expected this to be a throwaway comedy and at first I thought it was going to get too big for its own britches. However every branch they take is wrapped up by the end in one of the most awesome ending sequences I've seen in a comedy in a long, long time. All I'm going to say is BATTLE ROYALE. It's pretty great.

So if you're looking for the funny, go see this one. You won't be let down.

8/10

Looky what I'm working on...

http://zoimfgrt.com/haynerfide/

It's nothing special just yet. It's seriously nothing special at all. But it's the first time I've dinked around with any web design since the start of 07, practically. So I'm going to keep toying around with it. Any thoughts, good or bad, are welcome and appreciated.

Twilight: Reviewish

So I know I blogged about now knowing what Twilight is. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore. See, I was in Los Angeles the latter half of last week and after hanging out with old coworkers on Wednesday, ended up going to see Twilight with them on Friday night.

Now, as I think I noted last time around, this all started out as a book or a series of books. Having now seen the movie I can understand why it may make for an interesting read. So much so that I am likely going to pick up a paperback copy of the book and give it a good read through.

However, that doesn't mean is translated well to a movie. And it really didn't. For the fan of the book series, yeah...They'll definitely be happy with the movie. With the uninitiated like myself...It was riddled with bad special effects and worse dialogue. I'm not going to nitpick the acting because, in truth, it's fine. They should have let that Cullen boy smile a bit more. And man is high school ever so high stakes. I feel like I got off so easy.

The stars of the movie, for me, were the characters of Jessica and Doctor Cullen (played by Peter Facinelli by the way!). Jessica is kind of a valley girl secondary character...But everytime she talks I just laugh. Her character is great and the actress protraying her makes it even better. She reminded me a lot of a young version of Kristin Wiig's character in Knocked Up. And that's a great thing in my book. And I mean, Peter Facinelli! I was shocked when I saw him pop on screen as the good Doctor. And his character was excellent.

So in the end, there are plusses and minuses. And something that's evidently covered in ther book but is SKIPPED in the movie is you have to throw away any and all vampire conventions you know of. Garlic, stakes, etc. Toss it. It doesn't apply to this world's vampires. They feed on blood. Don't throw that one away. Other than that...It seems they're kinda' like Superman.

So the movie has a few ups and some downs as well, but in the end...

5/10

Though I may revise this after I read the book and get a better picture of how this will shake out. And naturally, they set it up for a sequel.

What the fuck is Twilight? Seriously.

Damn kids.

So evidently there is this new craze that I've completely missed out on because I'm old and lame. What the hell is Twilight? Evidently it's about vampires and some vampire dude falls for some normal and she gets all close with the vamp world.

I find myself wondering is the normal kills vampires in her spare time...

Great Show!

Evidently this whole thing started out as a book. I've never heard of that either. In fact it was all a mystery to me until I stepped into a mall. I made my way into Hot Topic, a store I usually avoid like the fucking PLAGUE, but I was shopping for a birthday gift. From the moment I walked into this island of lost souls and angry teenagers I was bombarded with Twilight this and Twilight that. In the FYE store, more Twilight. Everywhere is this fucking Twilight. What's the big idea?

I really hope it doesn't outgross Bolt this weekend. Bolt looks Fantastic. Twilight looks like a movie I saw a few years ago. I forgot what it's called but it's about this too. And takes place in some manner of boarding school. Now THAT'S cool. And the kids have a flying car...I think.

It was anarchy. If I remember it I'll say something.

You know what's a cool vampire tale, though?

The Pick-Up Artist.....2.

Sunday tidings to all. I'm out of town on vacations starting Wednesday. I'm pretty stoked.

But that's for another post. You ever seen this fucking nut?

Douchebag!

Mystery is an insane character in a book called The Game by a man named Neil Strauss. It's an incredibly good story where Mystery plays a main big role and is...Well...Mentally unfit. He also dreams of being a magician.

What if I told you this guy is a real to life person. You see, The Game is the story of a man who finds himself immersed on what he refers to as the 'seduction community.' The author found himself in Los Angeles, amongst other places, surrounded by guys who couldn't get chicks. Mystery had this weird method of picking up chicks, yadda yadda yadda, wanted to be a magician, bam. Best-selling book.

Now, in the aftermath of being a big part of a great book, Mystery (real name Erik Markovik) has his own show on VH1 where he teaches Beauty and the Geek rejects how to pick up on women in clubs through such tasks as having their hearts monitored while a women strips down to her skivies, or being auctioned off at a charity event to housewives or some such nonsense.

This show is incredibly off and makes me laugh and cry.

What's even funnier? Joel McHale's take on it.





Unfortunately Bryan has been eliminated. What the hell am I going to do now?

Stop The Drilling, Stop The Oil! I love Saved By The Bell.

Surely most everyone has seen this show at least nine times. I know of only one friend of mine who has never laid eyes on Zack Morris and crew and it breaks my heart. Alas, when I look back on shows like this (and the other TNBC hits like California Dreams, Hang Time, and even the short-lived Boogie's Diner [Yeah, it's a real show. Wiki it.]) I can't help but wonder how many people, like me, went into high school expecting it to be totally different than it truly was.

Why wasn't there a burger joint right next to my school we could all go to willy nilly? Why wasn't I in a love/hate relationship with my principal as he constantly caught me in the midst of shenanigans. Truth be told I only spoke to the principal a handful of times. During the summer I never got to work at a Beach Club. EVER. My campus never struck oil. Hell, even the semi-realitic option, my school having a radio station, wasn't the case.

And for some reason I actually believed some of it to be true. See, when I was young I was followed all of those teen shows. I watched theme very Saturday morning. And as I wasn't in high school yet, who was I to say it wasn't the case? You see, I'm gullible. I believe everything at first. It's sad, but true.

The sad truth is I WISH it was like it was on Saved By The Bell. My high school experience was FAR less entertaining than the hijinx we got from Zack, Kelly, Screech, Slater, Lisa, and the chick from Showgirls. And Belding. And Max The Waiter.

Their version of college was even badass. Man.

Alright, I should get ready for work.

The Problem With Prop 8.

I'm still torn up over this. I can't believe this is the world we live in. At this point it's not even denying rights. We are taking AWAY rights that were already given. Who do we thing we are, really? To those who voted in favor of prop 8, how would YOU feel if you had been stripped of some of your rights. That's what is so CRAZY about all of this. I honestly just don't get it. We should be celebrating the arrival of our new president. Instead there is a cloud hanging over the entire day. A cloud of discrimination and hatred that's being labeled as "good morals."

You are denying people of civil rights, where is the good in that? There is none. It's VOID of anything good. And one day you are going to have to explain to your grandchildren how you voted to take those rights away. Good luck with that one. And we'll see you in a couple years when the time come to reverse this heinous act.

Thanks to Tim for emailing me the following from an excellent singer/songwriter/pianist/Britney Spears song singer Sacha Sacket. Sacha is an LA mainstay anymore, and thanks to Tim I've had the chance to see him perform a few times. Tim is he performing when I'm in town?

Anyways, check it:

Ode To The Knight Rider

So the new Knight Rider on NBC is a terrible show, but I love it anyway. See, it's terrible in the same vein of the original Knight Rider. Let's be honest here, it's a show about a guy driving a talking car. That's the only draw in this show besides the eye candy. The girls, not the car. Though the Mustang is a hell of a beast. And they don't seem to understand the concept of time. You see, this week's episode was...The Halloween episode. I suppose you see the problem...Halloween is over.

Many of the things that happen on this show are so outlandish you can't take them seriously and that's how I like it. For instance did you know KITT can do blood testing? His glove box opens. You drop a syringe (provided by KITT) full of blood into the glove box and it closes. Moments later KITT knows anything and everything he possibly can about it. But HOW DID HE GET IT OUT OF THE SYRINGE?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

But to be honest, I don't want to understand. It's the perfect turn off your brain show. Also, KITT is a smart ass in this one. The car, voiced by Val Kilmer, is forever giving Mike Tracer (The Hoff's illigitimate son) lip. It's kind of awesome.

And, of course, staring at this one for an hour doesn't hurt.

Deanna Russo

I really don't understand.

Today is a great day in the United States. As President Elect Barack Obama made his victory speech last night I listened to his words, while the camera swept the crowd of thousands and thousands standing out in the cold to hear him speak. I was in awe, and I was far more emotional than I expected to me. I've talked to people about this and they say Obama's win gives them hope. It gives me hope too. This was the most important election of my lifetime and look what happened.

We have our first black president and he is going to change the world, I hope.

Unfortunately the good news ends there. In something I never expected to happen, it looks like Proposition 8 will pass and we are banning gay marriage...Even though we've already legalized it. I am disgusted by this. I'm also quite ashamed of my home state. And 50 years from now everyone will be ashamed of how this happened. It's discrimination and it's hate. And while today is a great day for the United States of America...It's a horribly dark day for the Sunshine State.

Zack And Miri Make A Porno: Reviewish.

So here's the deal. I really like Kevin Smith's movies. All of them in one way or another. Even Jersey Girl. Surely it's a mental imbalance, but oh well. So surely I was going to dig his newest effort. Hell, they even tossed Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks into the mix. Big win, right?

Right. This movie was rather entertaining. I took in a late show last night with my neighbor. He went into it not actually knowing what he was going to see. He thought it was a different movie entirely. We were both satisfied by the time the credits stopped rolling.

Okay, so this is the gist: Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are best friends going back to elementary school and they're both coming to terms that they've amounted to nothing and are out of money going into their 10th High School Reunion. They're broke and near homeless when they get the idea to shoot a porn movie and sell it. This leads to them patching together a rag tag group of friends and new acquaintances to make it happen.

The hitch comes when Zack and Miri's scene together comes up and they have to figure out how that works into their friendship. It's a sweet little love story in the midst of a ridiculously raunchy sex movie. In short, it's awesome. The supporting cast really power this thing, too. Jason Mewes steps out of his "Jay" shoes and takes on a new and very funny role as Lester. Craig Robinson (Daryll from The Office) takes on one of his biggest roles to date as Zack's other friend, Delaney. Jeff Anderson (Clerks' Randall) is hillarious as Deacon, the cameraman. Throw in a couple porn stars (Traci Lords and Katie Morgan...Whose voice is quite adorable), some guy I've never heard of (Ricky Mabe?), and a slew of cameos from both Rogen's and Smith's usual crew of misfits and you've got the makings of a movie that is just downright funny as hell, but with heart to spare.

The one and only complaint I do have the movie is it felt short. Which is weird, movies tend to feel way too long. And this one told the full story (at least is you stick around for the credits), but stilll...felt a little short. Maybe it's just me.

So yeah, Zack and Miri. See it.

7.5/10