Celebrity Fragrances.

Why does Tim McGraw have a cologne? Seriously? And what does it smell like? Cowpie? He's Tim Fucking McGraw. WHAT DOES HE NEED A COLOGNE FOR?

I know why and I'm going to tell you. It's because he REALLY needs something to pose with.

What kills me is knowing that MANY people will buy that shit and douse themselves with it. Look, if chicks are buying pond water that makes them smell like Paris Hilton (read: rich kid who got famous making low rent porn) then why NOT Tim McGraw?

I'll tell you why. Because this shit's officially gone too far. Why? Why does this exist? Why do people need to smell like Tim McGraw? Why does Britney Spears need a billion different 'scents' when none of them are labeled "Crazy." I mean, that's PERFECT. How does that not happen?

It's Britney, Bitch!

She's not in control of anything. That advertisement is a lie.

But no, that's not even far enough. Leave it to Stan Lee to just ruin the earth. Stan Lee? Who is Stan Lee?

Excelsior!

Stan Lee is the head honcho over at Marvel Comics. You may recognize him from small parts in seemingly EVERY Marvel movie on earth. And that's fine. He's funny to watch, he's very charismatic, and truth be told he's responsible for many of the best comic book characters that exist. But he's also responsible for this:

Seriously. The Incredible Hulk has his own fragrance. Spider-Man has his own Fragrance. Captain America, who DIED, has his own Fragrance. Dear God, it's the end of the world.

Merry Christmas.

Also, I wish there was Ninja Turtles toothpaste.